


I Need You

by cutielemon07



Series: We Need Each Other [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, HuntingBird, Hurt/Comfort, Pheels, Phil Needs a Hug, Philinda - Freeform, Protective Melinda May
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-13 20:43:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4536681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutielemon07/pseuds/cutielemon07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "Three Words". Phil Coulson is out of the med-bay and recovering from being on the brink of death. Melinda May just wants to be there for him and help him get better. But just how much will it bring them closer together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coulson Leaves Med Bay

Melinda May walked over to the med-bay wearing a massive grin on her face. Today was the day her best friend Phil Coulson was to be discharged, since he fell ill with pneumonia and lapsed into a coma almost two months ago. She entered and saw Coulson sitting down on his hospital bed, putting a tattered old pair of sneakers on.

"Don't look so surprised, May." He smirked as he looked back up at her. "I'm just as capable of casual dress as the next man."

"I never said I was surprised, Coulson."

"Of course you didn't."

"Are you ever gonna have that tube removed from your nose?" May asked, pointing at the feeding tube down Coulson's Nose. "Can you actually eat with that thing in?"

"Of course I'll have it taken out." Coulson said, standing up. "It's just there until I return to my original weight, you know, from before I got sick."

"I remember, Phil." May said gently as she walked over to him. "You looked terrible in that coma. You were so gaunt, I thought you'd die from being underweight and in your condition..." May's eyes filled with tears and Coulson handed her a tissue.

"Well, I'm better now, Melinda." He breathed. "And I promise you, I will  _never_  let anything like this happen again." He wrapped an arm protectively around May, who threw both of her arms around him.

"Don't leave me again, Phil. I was so scared..." May whimpered.

"Well, well, well." A voice said from the door. Both May and Coulson's heads snapped around to see who it was. Hunter. "So the Ice Queen of S.H.I.E.L.D.  _does_  indeed have a heart." May wiped the tears from her eyes. "And the boss  _does_  dress in jeans. Who've ever thought?"

"What is it, Hunter?" May asked.

"Just want confirmation about taking out that Hydra cell over in Cleveland."

"Yes." May and Coulson said in unison.

"D-do it." May nodded.

"Alright!" Hunter clapped his hands together. "One destruction of a Hydra base in Ohio, coming right up!" He smiled to himself as he left the room.

"I hope it's nothing to do with the  _Browns_." Coulson muttered.

"The  _Browns_?"

"Come on, May. You  _know_  I lived in Ohio." Coulson gave a small smile. "It only stands to reason that I'm a  _Browns_  fan."

"What about the  _Bengals_?"

"Nah. I lived more Cleveland way."

"See, Phil, it's the little things." May said. "I never thought I'd be standing here discussing sports with you ever again when you died."

"But the GH serum brought me back." Coulson wiped the tears from May's eyes with his thumb.

"I know that. But you got so sick..."

"And I'm better now." Coulson wrapped his hands around May's arms reassuringly. "I'll be cleared to go back to my job, directing S.H.I.E.L.D. again in no time at all."

"A month or so, your physician said." May let out a soft laugh. "Depending on when the nasogastric feeding tube is removed."

"Yeah well..." Coulson smiled and shrugged. "Same difference."

"Come on." May said. "We'll go back to your quarters." May walked out of the med-bay holding the door open for Coulson, who shuffled out after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to give Three Words a sequel and I'm pretty happy with it so far. I will add tags as I remember them.


	2. Seattle

Making the journey through the Playground to get from med-bay to Coulson's quarters seemed like a long one. Mostly because Coulson had to stop and rest every few steps. However, he still found time to visit FitzSimmons in the lab.

"Coulson." Simmons said with a smile on her face. "You're okay-sort of."

"It depends on your definition of 'okay'." Coulson shrugged.

"Up and walking... I think?" Fitz said, looking up from his project.

"Sir, your breathing's still heavy." Simmons looked concerned. "You sound out of breath."

"He needs more rest." May said. "As much as he says he doesn't need it."

"Yeah, I know what Coulson can be like." Fitz picked up a screwdriver.

Simmons chuckled. "Yes, he can be extremely stubborn."

"Like a certain someone he uh... You know."

"Admires." Fitz nodded.

"Yeah."

"Captain America." May almost smiled. "Those vintage cards of his caused him a lot of trouble."

"Hey, I lost those vintage cards on the Helicarrier-haven't had them in years." Coulson folded his arms.

"No, but when you  _did_  have them, they caused you some trouble." May replied. "Remember that time you, me and Barton were on assignment to Seattle in 07?"

* * *

"Coulson, did you get the USB pen?" May shouted over the gunfire.

"Yeah, hang on..." Coulson was standing over a computer, downloading files onto a USB drive.

"I don't know how long I can hold them off, Sir!" Barton shouted before taking cover. "I'm almost out of arrows!"

"Hang on, Clint! I'm almost done!" Coulson pulled out one of his guns from its holster. "Here! Use my gun!" He shouted, sliding the gun over to Barton.

"Sir, I..."

"Hawkeye, I'm your S.O. and that's an order!" Coulson ducked down as someone shot at him. "Fuck." He muttered. "Fuck-I hope the computer's okay." He looked up to see the files still downloading themselves onto the USB drive. "Thank God." He muttered as he stood up. A bullet hit him in the chest.

"Coulson!" May and Barton shouted. May frowned and shot the man who shot Coulson, while Barton ran over to check on him.

"Coulson. Sir. Are you okay? Look at me-don't go towards the big bright light." Barton babbled.

"Shut up, Barton." Coulson replied, looking up at the computer. He swiped the USB drive from the port on noticing the computer had finished downloading the files onto it.

"Sir, you've been shot, you need medical attention." Barton examined Coulson over, but Coulson pushed him off.

"Bulletproof vest, Barton. Standard issue." Coulson sat up and attempted to pocket the USB drive. "Oh no." Coulson's face fell.

"Coulson, are you okay?" May asked, worriedly. "Are you bleeding through the vest? Broke a rib?" She crawled over to Coulson's position and put her arms around him.

"It's worse than that, May." Tears started rolling down Coulson's face as his voice started cracking. "My vintage Captain America trading card has..." He took a deep breath. "A bullet hole through it." May grunted and let go of him.

"Grow up, Philip." She shook her head.

"Yeah, I thought you were hurt." Barton added.

"Hey! I  _am_  hurt." Coulson argued. "Not only is that bullet gonna leave a bruise, but I'm feeling a deep sense of loss here."

"Nobody's died, Phil." May said, shooting at someone who shot at her.

"No, but that card was  _vintage_!" He whined.

"Look, this is Seattle. I'm  _sure_  they have comic book stores here..."

"No, I have some of the vintage Captain America comics." Coulson sniffled. "It's the card I want."

"Fine then we'll get you the card, but  _please_  let's just get out of here!" Barton cried out and covered his ears.

"Alright." Coulson snapped. "May, here's the USB drive, guard that thing with your fucking life!" Coulson tossed the USB drive to May who just barely caught it.

"Wanna be more careful next time, Phil?" May asked sarcastically.

"Wanna try that  _without_  the snark, Melinda?"

"Wanna get out of here  _alive_ , handlers?" Barton asked, shoving his empty quiver in their faces.

"Yes, Clint, we see it."

"So what do we do, May?" Coulson asked.

"We run, Coulson." May sighed. "The USB drive  _must_  make it back to Fury at all costs. So we go on three-ready?" Coulson and Barton nodded. "One... Two... Three!" The three S.H.I.E.L.D. agents began running for the door, being guarded by the terrorists. May, Coulson and Barton managed to take some out, using hand to hand techniques, until a shot came out from somewhere and the bullet hit Coulson in his arm. He grunted in pain, clutching the top of his left arm.

"May!" He called out.

"Coulson, are you okay?" She asked.

"No." He shook his head. "I've been hit."

"Your arm?" Coulson nodded. "Jesus, Coulson, if they had got a few more inches to the right..."

"I think that's actually what they were aiming for." He said through gritted teeth.

"We gotta get you outta here." May said, shaking her head. "You've been shot  _twice_."

"I'm fine..."

"You need medical attention." She said sternly. "Can you fight with only your right arm?" Coulson nodded. "Good. You're gonna need to." Barton managed to get past the guards to the door and sneak out. May and Coulson began the walk out of the compound, attacking the guards as they came after them.

"May, it's me, Barton." He said through his walkie talkie.

"Barton." May hissed. "The hell are you?"

"I'm outside. And it's crawling with T.H.E.M. agents."

"Alright." May said. "Don't do anything stupid. Coulson and I are on our way."

"What's happened?" Barton's tone dropped suddenly.

"Nothing... Just... Phil got shot."

"Is he okay?" Barton asked, worried.

"He's fine..."

"I'm fine." Coulson said. He hissed when May touched his arm.

"You don't sound fine."

"Barton wait there! We're coming now!"

* * *

"You all escaped." Simmons said, spoiling the story.

"Yeah we did." May sighed.

"Coulson... He's fine now."

"And then too. He was lucky not to have been shot badly." May said. "We sure made good on our promise to take him to a comic book store though."

* * *

Both Coulson and Barton were nursing injuries-Coulson, a gunshot wound and Barton, a broken nose. Half of Barton's face was bruised and swelled up, while Coulson's left arm was in a cast and resting in a sling. As the mission was over, the trio were wearing casual clothes as they walked the streets of Seattle.

"Ooh! There's one!" Coulson pointed to a comic book store and quickly moved towards it.

"Phil, wait!" May shouted. It was too late and Phil had entered the comic store. May and Barton rushed in after him.

"Hey." Coulson smiled at the attendant. "You got any Captain America trading cards?"

"Yeah, I think we have one-let me check." The attendant left his post and walked to the other side of the store.

"Phil don't do that." May breathed.

"What?" Coulson shrugged. "All I asked for was a Captain America trading card."

"Don't just rush away from me like that again, I don't want to lose you." May rubbed her hand over Coulson's casted hand. "You're my best friend."

"Ahem!" Barton announced. "Level 3 S.H.I.E.L.D. agent present!"

"Yes, Clint." Coulson raised his eyebrows. "We see you."

"There's nothing going on between Phil and I, Clint." May rolled her eyes. "I'm married and not to him either." The attendant returned to his post with a card wrapped in plastic.

"We only have this one..." He showed the card to Coulson, who took it from him to look at.

"May-this is the one."

"The one that was shot?"

"No, the one I was missing from my collection  _before_  I was shot." Coulson's eyes lit up. "I  _have_  to get it, Melinda, I have to!"

"You just look like a little kid on Christmas Day, don't you?"

"Well... My 43rd birthday  _is_  next week..." Coulson grinned innocently.

"Really?" May asked. "43 already? Well, in that case..." She took the card from Coulson's hand and put it on the counter. "How much is it?"

"$550."

"Gah..." She choked out and looked at Coulson, who was smiling like a little boy back at her. "I'll take it." She pulled out her credit card and gave it to the attendant. Next thing Coulson knew, the card was being thrust into his hands by an irritated May.

"Thanks for that, Melinda."

"Just don't get this one shot."

"Are you kidding me?!" Coulson shrieked excitedly. "This one's going in my locker, for safekeeping!"

* * *

"Aww!" Simmons smiled. "That's such a cute story!"

"I had no idea you... Coulson... That you... You liked him." Fitz said, stumbling over some of his words in embarrassment.

"I tell you what I heard when Coulson was in a coma..."

"You heard nothing." May said. "You heard nothing."

"Oh." The smile had disappeared from Simmons' face. "Sorry, I..."

"Heard nothing." May shook her head. "Come on, Phil." She turned to Coulson. "You need your rest." She began to lead Coulson out of the lab.

"What  _did_  happen to my trading cards, exactly?" He asked.

"Oh... I think it's best you  _don't_  know the answer to that one..." Mary's eyes darted from side to side, knowing they were in her possession.

"Hey, May?" Coulson asked.

"Yeah, Coulson?"

"What do you think of me, as a person? As director of S.H.I.E.L.D? Am I doing a good job?"

"Philip Coulson, I think you're a fantastic person and one of the best directors S.H.I.E.L.D ever had." May replied back, with a big smile on her face-though she wasn't about to let anyone see it. "Even if you  _do_  show too much mercy occasionally."

"May?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you're fantastic, too." Coulson said with that same big smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter, this one's of May telling a story of earlier in their lives. Pre-Bahrain, obviously.  
> T.H.E.M. in the comics is what A.I.M. used to go by for a few issues in the 1960s. I thought it might be interesting to bring them in as like an early offshoot of A.I.M. as introduced in Iron Man 3 (probably founded in 1999) that deals with the terrorist side, while A.I.M. itself seems inconspicuous.


	3. The Cards

Melinda May had never set foot in Phil Coulson's quarters before, but she wasn't surprised by what she found, which was a  _lot_  of Captain America. No wonder there wasn't any Cap memorabilia in his office, it was all here.

"May, I'm okay, really." Coulson sat down on his bed.

"No, you're not. You need bed rest." May sighed. "Your doctor said..."

"Whatever." Coulson rolled his eyes.

"Phil..." May said gently, sitting next to him on his bed. "Just relax."

"I've relaxed for 8 weeks, May. I think that's enough."

"Yeah, but for three of those, you were in a coma and you're still on life support."

"No, I'm not."

"You are." May took Coulson's hand and guided it to the tube in his nose. "You're still very sick and you need rest."

"I'm fine. Sort of." Coulson grazed his fingers along the fine tube taped to his cheek. "I mean, I'll  _be_  fine."

"Phil, at least  _try_  to get some rest. Come on." May stood up and picked up a plush doll from the floor. "You sleep with a Captain America doll, Phil?"

"No, he stays at the bottom of my bed, watching over me as I sleep, keeping guard for any crazed Asgardian Gods that might wanna finish the job of, you know, killing me."

"Uh-huh." May nodded skeptically. She set the toy down and moved over to Coulson's dresser. "Phil, where do you keep your pajamas?"

"Bottom drawer." Coulson said as he examined the doll he hadn't seen in months. May opened the drawer to find only clothing items with Captain America's shield staring back at her.

"Coulson... Is there  _any_  reason at all why all your pajamas have Captain America on them?" She shook her head. "Actually, don't answer that. I mean, I  _knew_  you were obsessed, but I had no _idea_  it went this far." She pulled out an oversized Captain America t-shirt and pajama bottoms speckled with Captain America's shield. "Here." May said as she threw them to Coulson.

"What are these for?"

"You're going to rest in bed."

"I'm telling you, I don't need to rest."

"And I'm telling you, you  _do_  need to rest." She sighed. "Come on, Phil. Please." Coulson stared at her. "Right. I'm leaving for a bit to complete some paper work and when I get back, I expect you in bed, resting." May walked out of the room and closed the door, sliding down against it, almost in tears. She took Phil's bloody Captain America trading cards out of her pocket and held them to her chest, reminding her of how she lost Phil and almost lost him.

"Are you okay, May?" May's head snapped up. It was Skye. She had been so deep in her own little world that she hadn't heard Skye approaching.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She said, shakily pulling herself up.

"What are these?" Skye asked, snatching one of the cards from May's hands and walking down the corridor with it.

"No, don't-" May began as she chased after her.

"Oh... My God-is that blood? Have you been shot? Stabbed? What the hell's going on?" Skye frowned at May as if asking for an explanation.

"They're Coulson's." May said quickly. She swallowed nervously. "You know he was stabbed by Loki." May pointed at the blood on the cards. "That's his blood. He had them when he died. Nick Fury found them on him."

"What?!" Skye shoved the card back into May's hands.

"Except he didn't. They were in his locker on the Helicarrier. Fury broke into his locker and..." May trailed off.

"Why did he do that?" Skye asked quietly.

"To motivate the Avengers." May said emotionlessly.

"How-?"

"They loved him and he loved them. If it wasn't for Phil getting skewered..."

"The Battle of New York wouldn't have played out." Skye finished. "Does he know about this?"

"What? That his death motivated the Avengers? Of course he does. And he's proud of that."

"No, I meant about you having the bloodied up Captain America cards." Skye pointed to the cards May was holding.

"No." May put the cards delicately in her pocket. "And he can't know either. It would just upset him too much."

"Like they're upsetting you, you mean."

"We were partners once upon a time, Skye."

"I know that."

"Fury came straight to me after the Battle of New York." May said. "We had coffee-well,  _he_  had coffee, I had a water-he told me all about the Avengers, about Thor, Iron Man, Hulk, how great my former assets Romanoff and Barton were and Captain America." She paused. "Then he said about Phil and how calm he was with Captain America and how brave he was."

"May?" Skye asked in concern. May carried on.

"I asked 'was'? And Fury just said 'I'm sorry' and I knew what he meant. Nothing else had to be said. He just slid the cards over to me and left. He wanted to meet at a coffee shop so I wouldn't cry. And I haven't. Even at Phil's funeral."

"He had a funeral?"

May nodded. "Yeah." She choked out. "It was horrible. I've been to plenty of S.H.I.E.L.D funerals in my time but this... It was something else." May wiped her eyes. "And the worst part is I thought I'd have to do it again-for real this time."

"But you didn't."

"No. I didn't. And I'm very thankful for that."

"Just tell him, May." Skye sighed.

"Tell him what."

"Tell him you can't live without him." Skye urged. "Tell him that you need him. Tell him that you love him."


	4. Ambush

May wasn't sure what had happened after her talk with Skye, but she awoke in her quarters with her eyes puffy and assuming that she'd been crying. A bit of makeup solved her problem. After a few minutes, May thought it would be wise to go and get some breakfast, however, no sooner than she had left her quarters, was she ambushed. By Bobbi and Hunter.

"May!" Bobbi called out. "On your way to Coulson's office? Or his quarters?"

"Don't worry, we've checked up on him. He's fine." Hunter said.

"No. Actually, I'm going to get some breakfast and then I'm gonna check up on the Hydra threat."

"Hallelujah, she's eating!" Hunter said sarcastically.

"What's _that_  supposed to mean?" May asked.

"He means that you eaten hardly anything since Coulson went in his coma." Bobbi explained. "You've just kind of... Dedicated yourself to him, to his recovery."

"Yeah, May. It's becoming kind of obvious you have feelings for the Director, now." Hunter shrugged. Bobbi slapped him-backhand-on his shoulder. "What?!" He said to her. "She fancies Coulson. It's so glaringly obvious!"

"Hunter." Bobbi glared at him.

"Guys, I don't... I'm not..." May grunted in frustration. "This isn't a schoolgirl crush. Me and Phil go back years. Many years. I... We've known each other all our adult lives. There are things I don't know about him and there are things he doesn't know about me. On the flip side, there are things we know about each other that the other doesn't know."

"So you just  _know_  you fancy each other, you don't have to say it?"

"Hunter!" Bobbi hissed.

"Yes. No... I don't know." May shrugged. "I really don't know. How did your Hydra mission go yesterday?" She asked, desperate to change the subject.

"It went alright." Hunter said. "Hydra tried to attack though."

"Well they would, we invaded one of their bases." Bobbi scoffed.

"Of course." Hunter rolled his eyes. "We took some of them out, the rest got away. Bloody Hydra always one step ahead."

"That's why we're here." Bobbi said. "It's why we're  _all_  here."

May wasn't listening. She was too busy thinking about what Hunter had previously said-about being in love-wondering if she  _should_ confront Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet, the way I like it.


	5. Left Behind

Coulson awoke later that day. He sat at the side of his bed looking at his phone. He hadn't taken many pictures on it-well,  _personal_  pictures, anyway. Some pictures of his old dog, Captain America, his parents-how he really missed his mother. And his father, but Phil had moved past his death years ago. He sighed and carried on looking through his photos until he stopped on one. A photo of May at last year's S.H.I.E.L.D Christmas party when he'd just about coaxed a smile out of her and taken the photo. Coulson smiled to himself, thinking how pretty May looked when she wasn't on edge or fearing for her life from Hydra. He noticed a blurry figure in the corner that looked like Ward-it  _was_  Ward.

"I'll get Skye to edit this later." He muttered to himself, putting the phone down and standing up. Coulson walked shakily to the bathroom and began brushing his teeth when he heard a knock at the door.

"Come in!" He shouted, though muffled from the toothpaste that filled his mouth, spitting it out before he went to greet his guest.

"Uh... Coulson?" It was Skye. "Just... Uh... How are you?" She asked.

"Okay." He said, taking a deep breath. "Hanging in there, I guess."

"Good, I was kind of worried about you." She rubbed her arm. "You've been kind of asleep for... Well, it's 7 now."

"PM?"

"No, AM. You've been asleep for 17 hours."

"I have?"

"And you've been through such a traumatic time recently that we all though it would be best to just let... Let sleeping dogs lie, really."

"Uh-huh..." Coulson raised an eyebrow. "Seeing as it's morning, I'm gonna get dressed, greet the others, come up with a plan of action for the day."

"About that..." Skye chuckled nervously. "May's taken the Bus and Bobbi, Hunter, Mack and Fitz-Simmons have gone with her."

"That leaves..."

"Us two. Yeah." Skye nodded.

"Good." Coulson breathed heavily. "I'm glad she went and left without notifying me. I mean, who's the one leading this goddamned group of misfits?" He asked, remaining calm.

"Uh..." Skye averted her gaze. "That would probably be..."

"Be who, Skye?"

Skye cleared her throat. "Nothing, Sir."

"What's wrong, Skye?" Coulson's tone softened. "You  _never_  call me Sir."

"Nothing, just... Still just not quite over your stubbornness and refusal to seek medical attention." Skye replied with a small shrug.

"Why did they leave you behind?"

"To look after you."

"I'm in my 50s, Skye. I don't need looking after."

"You're still attached to medical equipment!" Skye said loudly.

"Not any more." Coulson said calmly as he began to pull out the thin tube from his nose, gasping as he did so. Skye grimaced and looked away.

"Holy crap, I can't believe you just did that." She said, unable to bring herself to look at him.

"Eh." Coulson shrugged indifferently. "It's not my first time doing that."

"What?!"

"But when the others come back, don't tell them I did that-especially  _not_  May. She'll just worry."

"You know she cares about you, right?" Skye asked.

"I care about her too, Skye." Coulson replied. "I care about you and Hunter and Fitz..."

"But you don't care about us the way you care about May." Skye said thoughtfully. Coulson sighed and walked out of the room.


	6. British Day Out

"So how's Coulson doing?" A man asked. He had a lot of cybernetic implants to his arm, leg and eye along with burns to one side of his face.

"He's doing fine, Peterson." May responded.

"So I take it that this is just a friendly visit?" He asked.

"Absolutely." May nodded. "I need to debrief you..."

"Wasn't that Coulson's thing?"

"It was, but I've taken up his responsibilities."

"Why are  _they_  here?" He asked, thumbing to the rest of the S.H.I.E.L.D agents.

"I wanted to give Phil a bit of space and time to recover."

"You said he's doing good?"

"He is." Fitz nodded. "He's out of the ah... Medical center. He's back in his own... Room."

"He's coming on well, Mike." Simmons smiled. "Needs to put on a bit more weight and rest up some more, but other than that, he's great."

"Good. Good to hear."

"Fitz, Simmons, Mack, Hunter and Bobbi, you can all just go and explore. Go shopping and blow all your pay check. Eat ten ice creams consecutively and get severe brain freeze. I don't care." May said. "I just need to debrief Agent Peterson and then we're all going to meet up and get some shopping supplies from the nearest WalMart. After that, we're going back on the Bus and back to the Playground. Got it?"

"Yep." Fitz nodded.

"Loud and clear, chief." Simmons added.

"All cool with me." Hunter scuffed his foot on the ground. Mack and Bobbi simply nodded.

"Good. Go." With those words, everyone left the room and scuttled out of the S.H.I.E.L.D base.

* * *

Popping in between shops on a UK High Street, Fitz, Simmons and Hunter felt totally at home while Bobbi and Mack felt out of place.

"Ooh! Fitz!" Simmons pointed at a shop.

" _Thorntons_! Nice!" Fitz grinned widely. "I could go for some decent chocolate about now."

"We could bring some back to the Playground for Coulson." Hunter suggested.

"Great idea, Hunter!" Simmons squealed. "Coulson will be able to eat it when he's better."

"No offense guys, but this feels weird." Mack looked around. "I don't know what  _half_ these places are.  _HMV_?  _Primark_?  _John Lewis_?"

"Oh I  _love_  their Christmas adverts." Simmons mumbled.

"Me too!" Fitz shouted.

"Come on, it's not like you're  _totally_  lost." Hunter shrugged. "There's an  _Apple Store_  behind you."

"And a  _Build a Bear_..." Fitz pointed to the  _Build a Bear_  store. "We should get a bear... For ah... To comfort Coulson."

"Why would a teddy bear comfort a man in his fifties?" Bobbi asked, folding her arms.

"They make them in Captain America designs now." Simmons said.

Bobbi paused. "Yeah, we should get him that bear."

* * *

After around 10 minutes, the off-duty agents walked out of the  _Build a Bear_  store with Mack carrying a box.

"Now we're going to get him that chocolate." Simmons said excitedly as she and Fitz rushed back towards the  _Thorntons_  store.

"Do you want to get a new  _iPhone_?" Hunter asked.

"I got an  _iPhone 6_  while Coulson was sick." Bobbi replied.

"My phone's an  _Android_. Prefer 'em." Mack shrugged.

"I need a new iPhone. Mine's an  _iPhone 4S_." Hunter put his hands in his jean pockets.

"Go get one, then." Mack said. "I mean, if you need an inferior product  _that_  badly..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa- _inferior_?" Hunter said incredulously, taking both hands from his pockets. "Who the bloody hell says that _Apple_  is inferior when the inferior product is  _clearly_  bloody  _Android_?!"

"Clearly  _Android_? Man, what drugs you taking?" Mack chuckled.

"I could ask the same about you!" Hunter smiled and shook his head.

"We got the chocolate!" Fitz shouted. He and Simmons made their way over to the other agents.

"Just in time, too." Bobbi said, taking her phone from her pocket. "Looks like May's done with Agent Peterson and wants us back on the Bus."

"Speaking of May..." Hunter began. "Do you think she's dancing around her feelings on purpose or... Does she not realize?"

"Maybe she  _does_  realize... She just doesn't want to..." Fitz sighed. "Well... Accept it."

"Or admit it." Simmons added.

"Maybe Coulson doesn't feel the same?" Bobbi suggested.

"Oh he does." Simmons said.

"She's right. It's like... In the uh... Air around them." Fitz nodded.

"Good thing I bought the soundtrack to  _The Lion King_." Mack said, pulling a CD out of a  _HMV_  plastic bag.

"Nice one!" Everyone congratulated Mack and he smiled proudly. When he got back to the Playground, he was going to put his plan into action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An accurate depiction of a UK High Street. For the Americans, It's a place, like a strip of street-and sometimes alleyways and other blocks-of just shops and restaurants and cafes... Oxford Street is the best example, but most towns and cities have them.  
> Also, check out the John Lewis Christmas adverts, if you're unfamiliar. They only started around 7 years ago, but they're a British staple now and Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without them. Last year's was about a boy and his penguin.


	7. Coulson's Nightmare

Phil Coulson strapped a taser onto himself before putting a bulletproof vest on. He looked to his left and saw Hunter zipping up his tactical vest. Both of them were standing in a quinjet piloted by May.

"All ready, boss." Hunter nodded.

"Bobbi, Mack, you ready?" Coulson asked into his comm device.

"As ready as we'll ever be." Bobbi called back. She and Mack were in the Hydra base already, having been dropped off there earlier, by Trip on another cloaked quinjet.

"You know, I have a terrible feeling about this." Mack said as he pulled out his gun.

"Of course you do. This is Hydra." Bobbi pushed him back against the wall as a couple of Hydra agents passed. "And we're S.H.I.E.L.D. " She whispered. "I got the same feeling you do." She took a glance around the corner.

"Skye, Trip, you ready?" Bobbi whispered into her own comm device.

"I got a bad feeling about this." Skye frowned.

"Mack just said the same thing." Bobbi said back.

"Well... Great minds think alike." Skye muttered. She and Trip were on the outskirts of the Hydra base, waiting for Coulson, May and Hunter.

"D'jou think Coulson's better now or is he just saying that?" Trip asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"I think he's a lot better, but I don't think he's 100%." Skye replied. "Maybe _that's_ why I'm getting a sense of doom from this whole operation."

* * *

On the quinjet, May was landing. Coulson and Hunter were strapped into their seats, opposite Fitz and Simmons.

"I can't help but feel like we're walking to our deaths here." Hunter said, checking his equipment was secure in the pockets of his vest.

"Relax, Hunter." Coulson said. "Everything is going to be fine."

"Yeah. You go in, meet with Skye and Trip, recover the 0-8-4s with Mack and Bobbi and then you fly away in the quinjets." Simmons smiled.

"Why are you here, then?" Hunter asked.

"Well, I-I..."

"You're here in case things go south and one of us gets hurt." Hunter shook his head. "I feel safer already."

"That's enough!" Coulson shouted. "Yes, Simmons is here to be the doctor and Fitz is here on technical duties..."

"Hacking into stuff and uh... Disabling security." Fitz said quietly and looked away.

"Yes, exactly that." Coulson nodded. "Everyone's here for a reason. Because everyone has their roles and duties. Hunter, I know you're worried, try to relax, though. You worry, you're not going to be able to perform your role and carry out your duties correctly."

"Coulson, we're coming up on that Hydra base now." May said from the cockpit.

"Alright you know what to do." Coulson looked around at everyone. "Let's make it count."

* * *

Not half an hour later and loading up his handgun, Coulson wasn't quite sure what went wrong. He emerged from his hiding spot around a corner and as Hydra agents shot at him, he shot them back. He managed to take out three or four before a fifth fired at him and the bullet hit his arm. He gritted his his teeth and carried on shooting and the fifth agent was taken down.

"Coulson!" He heard a voice shout in his ear.

"Bobbi!" He panted. "Bobbi, are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" Bobbi shouted back. Her voice sounded shaky. "But you should get back here as soon as you can, I..."

"Bobbi?" Coulson shouted after Bobbi's voice was cut off. "Bobbi!? Are you okay? Bobbi?" He sounded panicked.

"What's going on?" Hunter asked, concerned.

"I don't know. But I intend to find out." Grabbing his injured arm, Coulson quickly dashed down the hallway, followed by Hunter, in a desperate bid to find Bobbi.

"Coulson! Hunter!" Skye hissed from across the hall. Coulson's head quickly snapped around.

"Skye! What are you doing here?" He whispered.

"Where's Bobbi?" Hunter added.

"I don't know." Skye admitted. "Trip and I found the 0-8-4. We just aren't sure what it is or how to get it out."

"Have you called Mack?" Coulson asked.

"He's over on the other side of the compound with Bobbi." Skye whispered as Coulson crept toward her.

"Do you know if they're okay?" Hunter said, almost begging.

"I don't." Skye said. "I can't get hold of them."

"I don't like this." Coulson muttered. "Bobbi sounded desperate before she was cut off. You and Trip stay here and guard the 0-8-4, I'm going to go with Hunter and find Bobbi."

"Be careful, Coulson."

"Oi!" Hunter grunted. "Wha' abou' me?"

"You too, Hunter." Skye nodded. "Both of you, be careful."

Coulson ran down the hallway with Hunter close behind.

"If anyone's hurt Bobbi, I'm gonna..."

"I thought she was your 'She-Devil Ex-Wife'?" Coulson raised an eyebrow.

"That doesn't mean I don't care about 'er!" Hunter said indignantly. "We  _were_ married."

"Well  _you_  were the one making out as if you didn't care about her." Coulson shrugged and looked around a corner. No Hydra agents. He signaled to Hunter and the two walked cautiously down the corridor together.

"And _you_  make out as if you don't care about May."

"I don't care about her  _that_  way, Hunter." Coulson muttered. "Sure there was a thing before she met her husband while we were at S.H.I.E.L.D Academy, but..."

"That thing's still there." Hunter finished. "And it's there for _both_  of you."

"Don't be ridiculous." Coulson said, raising his weapon. "I care about  _her_  the same way I care about  _you_. As a colleague." He scoffed.

"And I'll believe  _that_  when  _Pixar_  makes a terrible movie."

"They already did." Coulson countered. "It was called  _Cars 2_."

"Alright." Hunter cleared his throat. "Then I'll believe it when  _I_  become Queen of England."

The two carried on down the hallway and stopped, abruptly, their faces filled with horror at what they saw.

"Bobbi!" Hunter cried out upon seeing her covered in blood.

"Lance!" She called back. Coulson frowned slightly. "I'm fine. I promise. Well, shaken up." Her voice trembled.

"Then what's all this?" Coulson gestured to her blood soaked clothes.

"Coulson, you've been shot." Bobbi said slowly. Coulson nodded.

"It hurts." He agreed. "But right now, I'm more concerned with you."

"Coulson." Mack nodded slowly. "I'm sorry, but you're gonna want to see this. You too, Hunter."

"Why? Wha's happened?" Hunter asked. Mack and Bobbi exchanged a worried look until one of them spoke up.

"It's May." Bobbi said, finally.

* * *

"Need anything, Fitz?" Simmons asked. The two were in the quinjet, waiting for word from... Anyone.

"We have any bottled water?" Fitz asked.

"Uh... Sure." Simmons replied, expecting him to ask her to make a sandwich, specifically a prosciutto, buffalo mozzarella with a touch of pesto aïoli. "Nothing else?"

"Simmons, we're uh... We're in a quinjet." Fitz shrugged. "Not much supplies."

"Simmons, ca-can you... Me?" Mack asked through the communication device.

"Mack? Is that you?" Simmons asked. "You're very um... Static-y?"

"Urgent... Need you... South entra... Blood, so much..."

"Mack?" Fitz asked. "What's happened?"

"Been shot... Gonna die... Get help."

Simmons whimpered slightly. "Mack, we'll be down as soon as we can, just-"

"Just hang on!" Fitz finished.

"Yes!" Simmons cried out. "Hang on!" She grabbed a medical bag and she and Fitz quickly left the quinjet.

"Where did he say, again?" Fitz asked as they ran.

"South entrance!" Simmons shouted urgently. "Come on Fitz!"

* * *

"I haven't heard anything from Coulson or Hunter in ages." Skye said anxiously.

"It's been 10 minutes." Trip took a deep breath. "I'm sure everyone's fine."

"I can't escape the feeling that something bad's happened to them."

"It's just that it's Hydra." Trip shook his head. "I'm sure everything's fine."

"Hydra, alien weapons-none of this is good." Skye sighed.

"I know it's worrying, just try to relax. I mean..."

"Trip! Skye!" Hunter said through the communication device.

"Hunter!" The two said in unison.

"Hunter, what's happening?" Skye asked, worried.

"One of you should get down here." Hunter paused. "No, both of you. Forget the 0-8-4."

"What's happening?" Trip asked firmly. "Tell me now. Skye's really worried, I-"

"She should get down here." Hunter's voice trembled.

"Hunter?" Trip asked softer. "Where are you?"

"Down the hallway. South entrance. When you see the blood, you've found us."

"Blood?" Skye's eyes widened.

"Hunter please, what's happened?" Trip asked.

"Coulson's been shot." Hunter said.

"Is he alright?" Skye panicked.

"Yeah, but you need to hurry."

"We're on our way." Trip grabbed Skye's arm and the two ran down the hallway.

* * *

Trip and Skye eventually made it down the hallway before Bobbi ran out to greet them with Mack, both of them covered in blood.

"Bobbi! Mack!" Skye's face filled with panic. "My god, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Bobbi nodded.

"We both are." Mack said.

"Is Coulson okay?" Trip asked.

"He was shot in the arm." Mack replied.

Bobbi bit her lip. "But it's not him that you need to worry about." They led Trip and Skye to a side closet. There, Hunter, Coulson and Fitz were watching Simmons try to revive May, who was lying in a pool of her own blood. Coulson looked on in horror, holding his injured arm.

"I'm sorry, Director Coulson, there's nothing more I can do for her." Simmons said sadly as she stood up.

"No!" Coulson barked. "You have to try! Simmons, please!" He begged.

"She was shot in the stomach. There's only so much I can do." Simmons's eyes went watery. "Sir, I'm afraid she's only got minutes left."

"No." Coulson shook his head, dropping down to his knees. "No!" He shouted. "This can't be happening!" He shuffled over to the unconscious agent and put her head in his lap, stroking her blood soaked and matted hair with his good arm. "Please, Melinda, you've got to fight this." He whispered to her. "I love you. I need you."

"What happened?" Skye mumbled.

"Hydra agent." Bobbi swallowed hard. "Shot her in the stomach. I killed the bastard, but she was bleeding too much." Her voice trembled. "She-Mack and I tried to stop the bleeding. Coulson and Hunter found us as Mack called FitzSimmons. And we called you. This is my fault."

"It's not your fault, Bobbi." Mack sighed and shook his head. "You did what you could. We both did."

Simmons knelt down as May's breathing became slower. She checked the senior agent's pulse on her neck. "I can't even feel the one on her wrist any more. She lost too much blood. Coulson, she's..."

Coulson nodded slowly. "I know." He said weakly. He gently brushed his hand on her cheek. "I'm so sorry. I'm  _so_  sorry that Hydra did this to you." He paused. "It's bad enough we almost lost Skye like this..." He began to sob. "Melinda, I love you and I always will. I don't want you to... Go." Nobody noticed that while Coulson was talking, May had stopped breathing. When Simmons went to check her pulse again, she pulled away quickly.

"Sir..." Simmons sniffled. "I'm so sorry." She said quietly.

"No!" Coulson shouted. "No, I don't believe it!" He cried. "It can't be! She can't be gone so soon!"

Everyone but Skye turned away or began crying themselves. Skye put her hand on Coulson's good shoulder. "Coulson..."

"Skye..." Coulson looked up at her, tears running down his cheeks. "Why did it have to be her?"

The young woman sighed and shrugged, shaking her head. "I honestly don't know." She responded and Coulson resumed his crying.

* * *

Coulson awoke suddenly, looking around. He was back in his... Office? It took him a few seconds to realize that he was sitting at his desk, he was at the Playgroud and there was a cold cup of coffee left standing in a 'World's Best Boss' mug. He stood up, rubbing his eyes. He  _had_  been crying, but he was also in his pajamas... So what had happened?

He slipped down from his office chair, picked up the coffee mug and slowly walked across the room, careful not to bump into anything in the dark. He walked into the dimly lit hallway and walked down it, with the intention of getting a fresh mug from the communal kitchen.

The lights were on in the communal area and Coulson frowned, wondering who could be using it.

"Can't sleep, Phil?" A voice said from across the room. Coulson looked around to see May, sitting on the couch reading a book with a cup of hot chocolate on the coffee table beside her. In... His Captain America mug.

Coulson shook his head. "Nightmares." He replied, slowly understanding that what had happened had just been a dream. A very vivid one at that.

May just nodded. "I'm here if you need me." She said as Coulson poured the coffee down the sink. He made himself a fresh cup and the two sat on the couch together in silence until the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, this isn't really one of those 'it was all just a dream' things. Coulson has PTSD, so this nightmare carries more weight than a regular dream, even if it wasn't exactly a flashback night terror.


	8. May's Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is why May was awake so early.

May looked over Coulson's hospital bed and stroked his head gently. She blinked away the tears forming in her eyes and turned to the doctor.

"Please tell me there's something you can do for him." She said, sounding slightly like she was begging.

"We're going to do everything we can." The doctor assured her. "And hopefully there'll be a good outcome. He might even be able to use his hands and wrists again after extensive physical therapy." The doctor looked through Coulson's notes. "But a man of his age... It'll be a bit tougher." He closed the notes. "We can still hope for a good outcome." He smiled.

"A good outcome." May repeated. "You're saying he's paralysed from the neck down. How can that ever have a good outcome?" She asked calmly.

"With rehab, we can get him back some movement he lost." The doctor said. "Director Coulson is lucky that he has a C-6 SCI and not a C-3 SCI."

"He was shot in the neck." May countered. "That's  _never_  lucky."

"But if he had a C-3 SCI..." The doctor paused to look in Coulson's notes again. "He would be ventilator dependent and would rely on you for all his personal care needs." He nodded slowly, leafing through the notes. "With the SCI he  _does_  have, he has a chance of living independently. Even possibly being able to drive again-with adaptations."

May glanced over at Coulson and hand his hand in hers. "But he  _is_  ventilator dependent."

"That's just to support his breathing, not to breathe for him." The doctor frowned and grunted.

"What?" May asked, ripping herself away from Coulson. "Is something wrong?"

"There appears to be an anomaly on one of Director Coulson's brain scans." The doctor lifted the page. "And again in his blood work."

"How long has this not been noticed?" May asked, gritting her teeth together angrily.

"Two days ago. They were taken two days ago." The doctor replied without hesitation. "The blood tests have been repeated... The same anomaly has been found."

"What is it?" May frowned.

"An abnormally high white cell count." The doctor sighed. "This is usually a strong indicator of blood cancer. I'm going to order more tests and we'll get on it as an urgent matter."

"So you're telling me he's paralyzed and he has..." May trailed off and looked over at her friend and boss who was lying unconscious on the hospital bed. If her heart broke at seeing his body being supported by machines and his neck encased in that brace-it had surely been ripped from her chest with this new development.

"Phil, no." She whispered, clamping her hand firmly onto his but taking care not to disturb the IV.

"That's the worst case scenario, Agent May." The doctor said with a nod. "Now it  _could_  just be that Director Coulson is developing an infection from the gunshot wound. Septicemia if you will." He swallowed hard. "I'm going to order more tests on him and in the meantime, give him some stronger antibiotics, just in case it is something like that."

"What if it is...?" May choked. She couldn't bring herself to say the word.

"Then we get an oncologist involved in Director Coulson's personal care plan." The doctor sighed.

"Please, Phil." May begged. "Whatever this is, you can fight it." Her voice trembled slightly. "You've come back from the dead, for god's sake. When you died I didn't know how I would go on without you." She began gently stroking his cheek with her other hand. "Especially after Bahrain. You know what happened there, Phil. You know." She paused briefly. "And the Battle of New York. Phil, you didn't sacrifice your trading cards-I have them."

Receiving a puff of air from the ventilator in response, May sat down in the chair next to Coulson's bed. "Just do what you can." She said exasperatedly. "Please."

* * *

Although May couldn't remember the time passing, somehow two days had passed and the doctor was once again back in Coulson's hospital room with a grim expression on his face and another-female-doctor by his side. May immediately knew what that meant and began sobbing on Coulson, who has just been taken off the sedation.

"What's happening?" Coulson asked, his voice hoarse from the breathing tube.

"Phil, I'm so sorry." May said between sobs.

"I know I'm paralyzed, Melinda." Coulson tried to lift his arm to comfort her, but couldn't lift high or control it well. He sighed.

"I'm afraid I'm here over a different matter." The doctor shook his head. "Director Coulson, I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but you have AML-Acute Myeloid Leukemia. It appears to have metastasized to your lymph nodes. You also have a separate-but non cancerous-tumor on your brain."

"How bad...?" May began.

"I'm afraid it's Stage 4." The doctor said, sadly. "Terminal. This is eventually going to kill you, Director."

"So I'm riddled with cancer?" Coulson asked, unable to make sense of what he was being told. " _That's_  what's happening?"

The doctor sighed. "This is Doctor Jones. She's your oncologist and will help make you comfortable towards end of life care."

"End of life?!" May shouted, rubbing tears from her eyes. "Woo, you can't just let him die  _again_! He's the director of S.H.I.E.L.D! Your boss!"

"And in this instance, I'm powerless to save his life, Agent May." Doctor Woo replied. "Director Coulson is going to die again. This time, you'll have time and preparation to say goodbye."

"If it's alright with you, Agent May." Doctor Jones began. "I would like to discuss treatments with the Director."

* * *

May wasn't aware of any more time passing, but it evidently had, since Coulson had started chemotherapy and lost his hair as a result. And was looking awful, like he was going to die soon.

"Melinda." Coulson croaked, though clearly happy to see her. "It's nice to see you."

"You look like hell, Phil."

"I can assure you, I feel worse." Coulson chuckled but immediately grimaced.

"Phil!" May rushed to his side. "What's wrong?"

"Need... Can't... Breathe." Coulson rasped.

"Help!" May shouted. "I need a nurse or someone! Please!" She protectively put an arm around her friend and looked at him as he struggled to breathe. "Phil, I'm going to protect you, okay? I'm going to protect you until you die. You're the best friend I've ever had and I love you."

Coulson nodded as two nurses rushed into Coulson's room and began fussing with his medical equipment.

"You should take a step back, Agent May." One of the nurses said.

"I'll always fight for you, Phil Coulson." She whispered, stepping back, watching the nurses.

After a few minutes, Coulson was fine again, resting in bed wearing an oxygen mask. He looked at May sadly.

"I know, Phil." May choked. "I can hardly believe it myself."

"Melinda... It's fine." Coulson said. May could see his breath fogging up the oxygen mask. It was slow, but steady only that was enough to worry her.

"It's not fine, Phil." May winced. "You're my best friend. And you're..." She trailed off.

"Dying." Coulson finished. "Yes, I am." He looked at her. "If I could move my hand right now, it'd be to put it in yours. I need comfort, Melinda... I'm terrified." He admitted. "I've died before... And I'm  _still_  terrified."

"Phil, I'll always be here for you." May grabbed the top of his arm gently. "I promise."

Coulson looked at her and smiled lightly. He closed his eyes and after a few seconds, May noticed that there was no fog in his oxygen mask. Her eyes widened as his heart monitor let out a sustained beep and once again, she called for a nurse.

Everything happened in a blur, but May knew that her best friend had just died in front of her. The nurses left the room and May walked over to his body and began sobbing hard.

* * *

May awoke crying and hearing her name being called out. She wiped her eyes and determinedly grabbed the torch by the side of her bed and ran to the source of the screaming. She found it coming from Coulson's office. But Coulson had died of cancer... Hadn't he?

May pushed the door open to see Coulson asleep at his desk, still calling out her name and in his S.H.I.E.L.D issue pajamas. He wasn't as well built as before, but he wasn't emaciated either... Had it just been a dream? If it was, it was a horribly realistic one. Now that May thought about it, it wasn't even that realistic. Jimmy Woo as Coulson's doctor? Still, at least Clay Quartermain wasn't in it.

May shut the door and walked down to the communal area, turning the lights on. She poured water in the kettle and began making herself a hot chocolate in Coulson's Captain America mug. She took the mug and went to get a book before she walked over to the couch.

After about 10 minutes, her peace was disturbed. Coulson walked into the communal area carrying a coffee mug and looking very disoriented.

"Can't sleep, Phil?" May asked, lowering her book slightly.

"Nightmares." Coulson shook his head.

"I'm here if you need me." May nodded back before going back to her book and letting him get on with what he wanted to do. The two then sat together on the couch in silence until morning.


End file.
